Originally published in 979 Represent June 2021 Vol. 13 — Issue 5

The Woman In the Window, I am told is a best selling novel in 2018. I didn’t read it, 2018 I was focusing on
completing my Vachh’s collection as well as Star Wars Del Rey paperbacks. But a quick online search shows
amazng reviews including one that says “Smart Suspensful, and Cinematic” which is a shame, because the
movie is anything but.

Anna Fox lives alone in her apartment after becoming separated from her husband. She cannot leave the house because she has agoraphobia, so she spends her time ordering in, watching old movies and watching people while taking medications and drinking alcohol (which she is repeatedly reminded she should not do).
Anna meets Ethan, the neighbor boy, and then his mom Jane, and eventually Alistair the father. One night, she
hears commotion and goes to look at the window where she believes she sees Jane stabbed to death by Alistair.
She calls the cops, who do not believe her, and the Russells come over to sortthings out where Anna meets… a different Jane. As the movie unfolds, it is revealed Anna’s husband and child are dead from a car
crash that Anna caused and lived as the sole survivor. Her medications make her have hallucinations and conversations with people who aren’t really there (she is having phone conversations with her husband the whole movie) and therefore is not a trusted witness or even main character. With all that out of the way, Anna plans to commit suicide, Ethan reveals that HE murdered his mom, (his mom being Kate, not Jane) and is now planning to kill Anna. Hijinks ensue, and Anna pushes Ethan through a skylight to his death. The movie closes months later with Anna finally leaving her apartment.

Here’s the deal… The movie is based on a book with super high praise…. The cast is stacked. You got Amy
Adams, Gary Oldman, Anthony Mackie, Julianne Moore and others, a soundtrack by Danny Freakin’ Elfman…. but
all that is a waste of money because these actors are so wooden I know it’s not the actors’ fault but they way the
movie is done. It’s almost like someone put a couple of movies into an A.I. Computer to see what kind of monstrosity would come out. I heard there were a lot of rewrites and reshoots because the original version was too muddled
and confusing for test audiences. I almost want to see it because this was about as bland as the Midwest version
of Mexican food.

2 outta 10 shrinks.